I Punch Of Reality To The Face

So this weekend I was relaxing at my moms house for a bit while my daughters enjoyed my sisters birthday party.  Too many small children for my liking so I was hiding inside while they all played outside.  Well my mom asked me very matter-of-factly if I had a good life insurance policy and that my beneficiaries were in line so that my daughters could be taken care of if something happened.  I looked at her and was like well yes I do and her response "Well since you don't take good care of yourself and are very heavy I wanted to make sure that if something happened to you that the girls would be taken care of."  This was one of those "What the fuck." kind of moments the ones where you go "are things really that bad?"  "am I already knocking on deaths door."  I realized I am.  I am pretty much taunting death to take me.  I mean yeah I did quit smoking and drink very rarely like 2 beers a month. However that is only a small fraction of the abuse that I put on my body.  The sedentary life that I live and the food that I shove in my body are causing my body to fall apart.

I always thought that I didn't have to rush to get things in order that I had plenty of time but the years have continued to creep by and the only progress that I have made is in getting fatter.  Every week I am reaching a new weight high.  People think I should have surgery to lose the weight but I know that I can do it I just have to be stronger than my need for the food.  I have to walk that fine line.  I know that I can do it and I will do it.  I need to do it.  Not for myself but for my daughters.

Mark

Diet Coke Withdrawal

I went like a week without a diet coke and man that was a nightmare and just when I thought I had kicked the habit it all came back. 

This morning I felt the cold once again in my hand.  When twisted the top off the crack and his was like an angel whispering my name.  When the top of the bottle touched my lips it was like the kiss of a long lost lover and when the cold refreshment passed my lips and that sweet passion of fake wild cherry flavoring touched my tongue I knew that I could never go without it again.

OK now to what I was really talking about.  I understand that diet soda is worse than regular soda when you think about it but I honestly just cant drink regular soda it is just always far too sweet and also has that nasty syrupy kinda texture to it that I just don't enjoy.

I really don't have much else to say at this point.

Blessed Be
M