Veggie or Vegan with Alice and a Breaking Dawn.

So I have been looking at ways to make me feel better about myself as well as just feeling better in general.  So I am going down the road of Vegetarian again.  There was a time when I went two years without eating meat and I honestly felt so good both emotionally and physically and it was only because my daughters mother that I gave up on it and started eating meat again.  Oh and on a side note finally my divorce has been finalized.  Well I felt so good when I wasn't eating meat it made me wonder why I am not doing that again.  I would like to eventually go full on Vegan but honestly I don't know if I can give up cheese.  It might be a good thing for me to do because it does seem that dairy products tend to not agree with me from time to time.  So that is my goal also the probiotics seem to still be working pretty well.  I know that it is only been three days but as a person that spends much time with stomach pain the last couple of days free of it has been great.

So last night I was able to sit down and watch the Alice mini series with Andrew-Lee Potts and it was pretty darn good.  I am a big fan of different twists on classic stories and I really felt that it was a pretty interesting story.  It did get corny in a lot of spots but in all honesty the best kind of scifi stories are chock full of corny.  I love it.

I also sat down and watched the last Twilight movie and well lets start with what was really bad the special effects were horrible but the acting was probably the best in the series.  Though it was carried by Michael Sheen as Aro.  That man can just straight up act no matter how bad the lines are he can some how make it seem worth it.  He does such a great job of carrying the role of being totally power drunk but yet also giddy in a childlike manor.  He was definitely the highlight of the movie for me.  I have read all the bucks and I did have to suffer through them mostly because with these books usually the first half of each of the books would be so slow but then like the last ten chapters would be just utterly fast paced and would somewhat make up for it.  I was lucky to have forgotten about most of the end of the book so I was able to be surprised a little bit.  For fans of the romantic vampire stuff that has been so popular now it is well worth the watch well those people don't really need my recommendation because they will have already seen it.

I am trying to decide what movie I want to watch this evening but most likely I am just going to watch the latest Bones on Hulu and then start watching Primeval starting with Series 1 Episode 1 yet again.  Either way I wont be complaining.  Though I probably should play some more Mass Effect 3 this evening.

Blessed Be,
M

Multi For Him and Vitamin C

Well it has been a little while since I have blogged so I felt that it was time to kinda do a little check up.  So after weeks of fending off the various colds and other bugs that are floating around this time of year I finally succumb to something as pedestrian as a sinus cold.  It was a pain but luckily the fact that I have maintain a healthy course of a Multi-Vitamin and a Vitamin C a day I was able to limit the amount of days that it really affected me to one.  Also I know that the fact that I have been a year and three months without a smoke plays a large roll in the fact that the illness did not stick around as much as it would of in the past.  I am still trying to find out where I want this blog to go I know that it tends to be all over the place ranging from movies, to gaming to diet and what not.  Maybe some day I will settle down a simple subject or to or as a good friend of mine does with her blog she has days of the week where she writes about different things. I am contemplating that route but haven't figured out where to start so for now this is going to just be a weekend kind of wrap up.

This weekend was a very horrible kind of weekend.  Nothing profound or life altering happened but I did manage to have a horrible migraine from Saturday night all the way into Monday morning so that was a horrible experience.  I am laying the blame on the massive amount of caffeine that I consumed on Friday in the form of way to much tea, coffee and diet sodas on Saturday.  I haven't had a really horrible headache in years so this one really wiped me out.  My daughters were over this weekend so Saturday I just pushed the pain away and did the best I could to spend some time with them though once Sunday morning rolled around and their mother came to pick them up I hooked the little guy up with a Ninjago DVD and curled up on the couch to keep myself from tearing my head open.  On several occasion the little guy would come out and be like "You can sleep more I am just watching more Ninjago."  Eventually I woke up and it was 1 in the afternoon and the headache was still there.  It stuck around for the rest of the day finally starting to subside Monday morning just in time for work.

I just traveled in time.  Started this on Tuesday and bam now it is Wednesday.  I am not really feeling the whole working thing today.  Or blogging thing right now but I just wanted to get this thing up and posted since I need to get something up.

Oh and on a side note I am doing this Caffeine Free Week thing where you give up caffeine for the week and yeah that is a thing and it is rough.  I will post some more about that as the week goes on I hope. 

Much Love
M

Caved In.

Well I caved in and bought Minecraft for the PC and honestly I could not be happier.  The sky really is the limit when it comes to what you can do with this game.  Also I hate to admit it but I feel my gaming preference beginning to shift from consoles to PC.  Currently I have only been playing on peaceful just because I still haven't gotten use to the controls of a PC that who AWSD is a little crazy though using a mouse is far easier than using an analog stick to to aim. Also the addition of mods and texture packs are pretty awesome.  Currently I am only using the Optifine Mod and the Boardercraft texture pack which is awesome.  I don't really have too much else to say right now.  The diet is going pretty crappy but each day is a new day.  Today I made sure not to bring that much stuff with me to work so that I am limited to just my breakfast and what I brought for lunch I also didn't bring any money for the vending machines.  We will see how it goes.  Most likely I will just stuff my face when I get home.

M

Cupcakes and Ice Cream Cakes!!!

Man where did this weekend go?  I mean honestly I have no clue.  I don't really know what happened to Saturday I do however know that Sunday I ate some cupcakes and some candy along with a homemade ice cream cake.  Well not the whole ice cream cake but a lot of it.  I also had probably some of the best lasagna I have ever consumed.  Way more of that than I should have.  I look back on Sunday and it is no surprise that I can barely see my toes sticking out from my gut, OK that isn't true I can still see my toes but I wonder if it is only a matter of time.  Today is am starting over (yet again)  I wish that I could get a little more support at home over this but I kind of understand that people don't like to do that kind of stuff.  Everyone wants me to talk to a doctor and go the surgery route but I know that I can do this.  I have done it before I know that I am not fat because of a problem with my body I am fat because of a problem with my mind and because I don't say know.  I also am the master of making up excuses.  An all time favorite is the well it is the weekend I can start over on Monday.  That is the one I used this weekend.  Then there is also the well I lost five pounds so I can have a treat.  That treat almost always being like an entire pizza.  I want to do this and I want to do it right.  The thing is that I know what the problem is I know what I need to do to fix it though this is probably one of the first times I have actually spit it out without more excuses.  Well I just wanted to get that off my chest for right now.  We will see how things go.

Much Love
M

Damn You Philly Pretzel Factory

Man Thursdays are great days......... You know why I love Thursdays?...... PHILLY PRETZEL FACTORY!!!!! OK I love and hate them.  So the amazing company that I work for they really know how to take care of us.  Mondays they provide bagels, Wednesdays are a catered lunch I don't ever partake in that because of the inability to count the calories.  Thursdays is PPF (yummy)  I allow myself two of those and then Fridays they alternate between Pizza and Subs.  I don't eat the pizza on pizza days but I definitely enjoy a little Roast Beef Hoagie on Hoagie Fridays. 

OK I am done talking about that.  I was trying to think about something to write about from last night but I realized I did absolutely nothing last night.  I watched a couple of iHasCupquake Minecraft videos last night caught up on the Minecraft Hunger Games they played well the first and second I had already watched them both from Captain Sparklez and AntVenoms perspective but it was really cool to see it from Cupquakes perspective because you got to see the drama from the air. I also caught up on some of her old Quake N Bake videos which are freaking awesome.  If you are into nerdy edible treats they are worth the watch.  Geeky yummy snacks abound.  It lets me satisfy my food addiction without actually eating anything.  She also has a great series called Geeky Goodies that teach you how to make all kinds of geeky and wonderful decor things.  Pretty awesome.

On the diet front yesterday was a great day I stayed below my calorie limit and that is always a plus.  I need to hurry up and get paid so that I can buy some better food to eat though.  I am staying below my calorie limit but the quality of the food isn't as good as I would like but I am going to make a change to that. 

I think I slept on my wrist weird last night because I woke up and I could barely move it.  It even hurt shifting my car on the way to work.  I have it wrapped and I hope it starts to feel better soon...

In the realm of TV I am going to try to giving Breaking Bad another chance this evening I watched like the first like six episodes but I kept losing interest in the show every time that Walt would do something evil and decide he wanted to go home and bang his annoying wife it always annoyed me.  OK well I am running out of stuff to say and am probably going to start rambling soon.

Much Love
M

Minecraft Obsession

OK so my daughter was telling me about this game called Minecraft and that it was so awesome and there were videos on YouTube and I was like sure I will take a gander at this since she loves the videos.  I was not impressed I thought it was such a stupid idea for a game.  Then it came out as part of the Xbox Arcade and I downloaded and for her.... I was hooked the first time I spawned into that blocky world and was forced to survive that first night.  The first time I heard that freaking hissing sound and was blown to bits by something that I didn't even see I knew I was in for a bad time.  I have finally made the decision to upgrade to the PC version of the game and really give into my obsession.

I am choosing to lay the blame for my addiction to Minecraft not on myself but on YouTubers like iHasCupquake, AntVenom, sethbling and of course I cant mention Minecraft and YouTube without mentioning CaptainSparklez.  What these incredible people are able to do and create with this game is amazing I love games I love gaming I will admit it though I am horrible I suck beyond all belief but that is not what games are about they are about fun and creativity and killing time.  Minecraft has created the perfect tool for doing all of those. 

Even now as I am typing this blog post I am being destracted by Cupquakes Minecraft Single Player videos.

OK enough about that I just wanted to take a moment to rant about something that I take enjoyment from.  On to another note the battle against the bulge is going I am slowly making some progress which is a good thing I don't want just rush in and lose a bunch of weight.  I have been down that road before and after the rapid weightloss it was always just a matter of a few months before I have put even more weight on.  So I think that going slow is the better way to go.  I am hoping to get this blog and everything about it more organized and less of a mess.  I am hoping that just by typing everyday perhaps I will get better at it.

Much Love
M

Oh Beef Jerky

I have decided that Jack Link's Teriyaki beef jerky is probably the greatest snack food I have ever had the pleasure of sticking in my mouth.  I have always been a big fan of Jack Link's but it wasn't until I was enjoying a bag of the Teriyaki jerky this morning that I realized I love this stuff.  I mean when you think about it yeah the sodium in it is insane but when you look at only 80 calories a serving and 14 grams of protein a serving it is a nice little pick me up when you are dragging and need a little bit of energy and are trying to stay away from sugar and coffee. 

Also I am already starting to seen an improvement in how I feel even after only two days of not stuffing myself into a food coma every day.  I did eat a little bit more yesterday than I had wanted.  What can I say I am not perfect and that slice of chocolate cream pie just looked so delish last night.  The upside where as I would usually eat that and go "Well I already screwed up I might as well just keep eating."  I didn't this time I said well I ate that and really shouldn't have I just wont eat anything else this evening which it being at 8:00 PM wasn't a bad thing.  So I am just going a day at a time I am hoping that soon I will have dropped a few pounds and will be able to walk more without having to worry about my knees supporting my weight.  That is my first goal.  I just want to be able to walk without my knees hurting or getting winded.

Enough on the dieting front.  I ordered a copy of FF12 from Gamestop to play since it is probably my second favorite FF game of all time next to 7 though I will always have a soft spot for the end of X when you got to hear a FF character say I love you for the first time it was special.  OK on to 12.   I have always loved that game I always thought that the voice acting and the story was always top.  I managed to dust off my PS2 (Still one of my favorite systems ever) and started that baby up.  I had forgotten about a few of the annoying things about the game for example the camera controls when walking are a little bit annoying and also the battle system is a bit different.  Also the size of the Playstation controllers lol.  I have been playing my 360 for so long I had forgotten how tiny they were but after a few minutes I was starting to get the feel for it again and I am sure it is only a matter of time before I am back to slashing through the game.  I am going to try to play it all MLG style no strat guide or anything like that.  Luckily it has been so long since I played it that I don't remember anything about it.  :) 

Well that is it for me right now.  I am going to try to perhaps write a little something this evening to keep myself moving with this.

Much Love:
M

The New Year

Well so the new year is upon us and I finally caved in and got myself an iPhone and I hate to admit it but I totally love it.  I had been one of the biggest voices in my circle of friends and co-workers against the iPhone for the fact that they controlled what kind of apps made it into the market place so in my opinion it limited the third party options well I discovered that having that kind of control makes it so that the apps you add to your device wont utterly bog it down.  In my android days I would load my phones up with apps and they would eventually crash and force close and the phone would just reboot all the time.  If you know what you are doing the customizability of an android device can be a great thing but honestly I never really know what I am doing so the same thing that first attracted me to android phone eventually pushed me away from it.  OK well that is enough about that.

So over the holiday I lost a friend.  He was a guy that I honestly didn't think I would become as good of a friend to as I became.  He was also not much older than me and where as he did live a very hard life with years of alcoholism that probably contributed to his death (they don't know exactly how he died yet).  His body was found early in the morning so it looks like he went in his sleep.  Our lives do not parallel in really any way I do drink but not at any kind of regular frequency but it still made me think about the fact that I am not healthy.  I am incredibly overweight and feel that I am only a few pounds away from having a heart attack.  Since I have this new iPhone I all of these tools to help me be more organized I am going to try to take advantage of it and get my shit together.  I am not going to make a new years resolution because the second I do that I fail.  I am just going to try harder to be a better person a healthier person.  A person that will be around longer for my ghouls (girls).  Well I don't have much else to say at this moment but I am going to try to also keep things more up to date here.

Blessed Be.
M

What A Week.

Well this was a crazy week.  Monday the hurricane rolled in and my company decided to close the office Monday and Tuesday and to have us work from home if possible well the power went out Monday evening and stayed out through till mid day Wednesday.  I know that there are many that are still without power so I am not going to whine and complain about it.  I did feel like I was heading down the route of Jack Torrance from The Shining because of not having electricity.  It is rough for me to be in a situation where I cant do anything about it.  Well Thursday they finally opened up the office and it was nice to be able to get back to work.  Thought honestly when I came in to work today I was as exhausted as if I would have stayed at work all week.   I am ready for a stress free weekend I want to just relax and watch some TV and play a little bit of video games.

I have also been doing a pretty decent job of not eating like a Big-Fat-Fatty.  I stopped trying to look at it like a long term goal.  I am now approaching it like I approached not smoking.  Every day is a new day.  I am not trying to get through the week.  Only trying to get through the day.  On Monday it will be 1 year without smokes.  It is kind of amazing to think that I was finally able to make the change.  What worked was each morning when I would normally stop for a pack of smokes I just went "Nah I will stop on my way home from work." Then when it was time to go home I would just go "Nah I don't feel like stopping right now." Eventually it was a week and then a month and here I am at a year.  Well I am going to try to finish up the rest of this work day. 

Blessed Be.
M

I am a Manatee

I am a Manatee I am a gentle creature that in the water is graceful and relaxed but on land would be crushed under its on massive weight.  That is how I felt yesterday when I got out of the pool.  I went swimming, and I mean real swimming not just floating around in a wading pool, for the first time in years and it was great floating in the water was most most relaxed I have felt in a long time.  Also you work out a good deal of muscles just treading water or directing yourself around the pool.

However after two hours in the pool my body had gotten use to being supported by the water and when I went to climb out of the pool I was made painfully aware of how heavy I have gotten.  I have lost some weight in the last few weeks but not nearly enough.  My body groaned and creaked as my into structure worked to try to get use to carrying the weight normally again.  I vowed that I would keep moving forward and would now start working some exercise into my routine no matter what.  No more excuses this is me being punched in the face and realizing I am a manatee and I don't want to be one.


M

I want to blog.

I want to blog but I am having a hard time finding something worth wild to blog about I mean nothing really eventful has happened to me in the two weeks. I do have one little bit of good news I went to a cookout at my moms house last night for the 4th of July and I had a veggie burger with a slice of tomato and mustard and some corn on the cob that is it.  I bypassed the macaroni salad, the pie and the ice cream.  I was incredibly proud of myself it isn't often that I can get myself into that kind of frame of mine.

Now to a bummer news the brakes in my car are starting to go I mean squealing and groaning like you would not believe I am just hoping that they hold up till I can afford to get them fixed.  It is very embarrassing driving the car as it is but I don't really have any options at this point.  Every time I press my brake pedal it is very loud and annoying. I am hoping to be able to get them fixed next weekend.  They just  need to hold off till then.  Well I am going to head off of this and hopefully this is enough of a blog to just keep things going.  I am hoping to have more to post later.

M

Not doing great, but not doing horrible.

I got on the scale this morning for the first time in like a month.  The only upside was that I weighed less than what I thought I would be.  Fortunately I weighed the same 336lbs that I did the last time I got on the scale however it made me realize that I have been eating very well the last three days and have been trying to move around more.  I don't mean exercising yet but I do mean getting up and walking to get things instead of trying to get someone else to get stuff for me.  I also make a point to get up and walk around the office more.   Actually using the further away water machine than the one closer to my desk.  I know it isn't much but at least it is something.

I have begun to get some of my eating under control.  They late night munchies are doing a real harm to it but it is hard to get myself to go to bed at a decent time I know that if I could just get myself in to bed earlier I could bypass the entire issue with the late night eating but there are forces that prevent me from getting to bed at a decent time.  I know that if I could do that things would be a lot easier but no excuses I have to work things out they way they are.  Well I thought I would have more to say but honestly don't really feel like typing anymore.

No More Excuses

 

I woke up this morning feeling like I was dying.  I woke up feeling like this picture.  I woke up feeling like a beached whale.  Like a huge creature that is being crushed by its own weight that is no longer being supported by the water.  I feel like with ever step my knees or my legs are going to give out underneath me or that when I am laying down my weight is going to crush my lungs and I wont be able to breath anymore.  I didn't even want to eat anything this morning but I forced myself to have some breakfast and I will make myself have some lunch so that come this evening perhaps I wont stuff myself to the point of feeling like I am going to die.

I am tired of being exhausted all the time.  I know that my horrible sleep pattern is a major factor in this.  I don't go to bed till like 1 or 2 each night and then I am stuck having to get up at 6 am every morning.  It really starts to weigh on a person when you aren't getting enough sleep to really function and the heavier I get the less restful my sleep gets every night.

I think that I really am dying I think that if I don't work things out now and stop making excuses. No more excuses.

M

Ramen For Breakfast.

Man today was one of the mornings where my routine was completely thrown out the window.  Because of that I am enjoying some nice Maruchan Instant Ramen for breakfast since I didn't have time to make myself something more breakfasty before I sprinted out the door this morning.  Good thing I actually really like this stuff or it could have ended up being the second bad start to a day in a row.

I am trying to think about what I want to do this evening.  I want to do some sort of working out but I am still having a hard time figuring out where to start.  I mean this has been my issue since I first started trying to lose weight.  I just cant seem to get myself moving.  I have a bunch of easy DVD's that I could work on but I know that I wont do that.

This day is really dragging so much there is no work coming through and I am really trying to reach to find something worth writing about here.  I am trying to go a day without caffeine but I don't know if I can do that.  It sucks already ready.  I am also having shavers remorse.  I shaved some of my beard off and I am very much regretting it.  Well I am done for the time being hopefully I will have more to type later.

M

Diet Coke Withdrawal

I went like a week without a diet coke and man that was a nightmare and just when I thought I had kicked the habit it all came back. 

This morning I felt the cold once again in my hand.  When twisted the top off the crack and his was like an angel whispering my name.  When the top of the bottle touched my lips it was like the kiss of a long lost lover and when the cold refreshment passed my lips and that sweet passion of fake wild cherry flavoring touched my tongue I knew that I could never go without it again.

OK now to what I was really talking about.  I understand that diet soda is worse than regular soda when you think about it but I honestly just cant drink regular soda it is just always far too sweet and also has that nasty syrupy kinda texture to it that I just don't enjoy.

I really don't have much else to say at this point.

Blessed Be
M

It's Time

OK it is time.  I think I have reached the point where I have lost all the weight I am going to do with just diet alone.  Sadly it is only 10 lbs.  I was hoping it would be a little bit more so to take a little more strain of my body before I started working out again.  It doesn't look like that is going to be the case.  I will not let this deter me though.  Tonight I will start with some light upper body lifting just enough to get my heart moving and see if that kick starts some more weight loss.  After another 10 lbs comes off I will start walking some more.  That will be 20 lbs of weight off of my knees.  The knee pain was one of the big motivating factors to me wanting to do this again and having this renewed dedication.

Well hopefully I will be back later today with some more info.

Blessed Be,
M

Egg Rolls

Oh egg rolls you evil greasy delights.  Why must you taste so wonderful and why must you come in ever combo meal that is purchased.  I seem to be the only person that is addicted.  They are to me like a drug I see them sitting there when Tara brings home chinese left overs and I cant say no.  Thank goodness you only come as a single and not as a pair.

Tonight I am going to try adding some light exercise to my routine and will see where this goes.

Blessed  Be
M

Double Digits

OK well as is my usual M.O. I have been months without posting even though I had said I wanted to try to post more often.  I failed.  Well I stepped back on to the weightloss band wagon.  It mostly started because my knees were starting to ache on a daily basis because of all the weight being supported.  I also was tipping the scale at 335lbs.  That is absurd.  I couldn't keep going like that.  So I started tweeking my eating habits.  I didn't really change what I ate at first.  What I did was changed when I ate and eventually what I ate started to change as well.  Well more of how much I ate.  I started eating a little later in the day since I work till 6 pm and don't get home till almost 7 for dinner.  What I started doing is having breakfast at work at 10 AM I then have a morning snack at about 1 PM followed with my lunch at 3 PM.  What this does is it makes it so that when I finally get home I am not so hungry that I don't care about how much or what I eat.

So far I have lost 10 lbs doing this.  Already my knees are hurting less and I think that very soon I will be able to throw some walking in without hurting my knees too much.  I think I am finally starting to be successful in this.  I was going to post up some starting photos but honestly I am not ready for that yet.

I will keep you guys (whoever does read this) up to day in days to come.

Blessed Be.
M

Decided to start again

I decided to start this blogging thing again because for some reason I feel like typing up the thoughts that are poring through my head no matter how pointless they may be. 

I spent two weeks eating healthy and really feeling good about that and then I was sick all weekend and honestly I didn't eat the way that I should have and I felt like I had yet again failed at this task that I have put in front of myself.  A weaker Mark would have just said screw it and went back to just eating everything in the house and just giving up but I woke up yesterday morning and got back on track.  My stomach was back to almost feeling normal again and I picked myself up and kept moving forward.

Another win that is going into my win book is that I have been 16 weeks without a smoke.  From time to time I still have that little urge but then honestly the first time I smell someone else smoking I want to just vomit.  I think that this is one thing that I have succeeded at.  I can already breath much better and with how much I weigh the fact that I quit smoking is probably an extra great thing.  I want to start working out more often or I should say working out period.  I feel that if I could get myself doing that then things would honestly move along much more smoothly. 

Well I believe that this is an acceptable first post to this new blog and I am hoping to follow it up with short posts through the course of the week and then would like to start doing a weekly review one every Monday.

<3 Mark