Cupcakes and Ice Cream Cakes!!!

Man where did this weekend go?  I mean honestly I have no clue.  I don't really know what happened to Saturday I do however know that Sunday I ate some cupcakes and some candy along with a homemade ice cream cake.  Well not the whole ice cream cake but a lot of it.  I also had probably some of the best lasagna I have ever consumed.  Way more of that than I should have.  I look back on Sunday and it is no surprise that I can barely see my toes sticking out from my gut, OK that isn't true I can still see my toes but I wonder if it is only a matter of time.  Today is am starting over (yet again)  I wish that I could get a little more support at home over this but I kind of understand that people don't like to do that kind of stuff.  Everyone wants me to talk to a doctor and go the surgery route but I know that I can do this.  I have done it before I know that I am not fat because of a problem with my body I am fat because of a problem with my mind and because I don't say know.  I also am the master of making up excuses.  An all time favorite is the well it is the weekend I can start over on Monday.  That is the one I used this weekend.  Then there is also the well I lost five pounds so I can have a treat.  That treat almost always being like an entire pizza.  I want to do this and I want to do it right.  The thing is that I know what the problem is I know what I need to do to fix it though this is probably one of the first times I have actually spit it out without more excuses.  Well I just wanted to get that off my chest for right now.  We will see how things go.

Much Love
M

We All Need A Little Rescuing.

So I have been listening to this song a lot it is called "The Rescue" by Tylor Ward it has really been stuck in my head lately and it has gotten me thinking a lot about the way I use to look at the world and of myself.  I use to always think that I needed someone to rescue me.  Whether it was a god or a woman or man I always felt that I needed someone to pick me up when I was down and that I needed someone to save me from myself and from the world.  I started to realize that while having someone else do all the hard work and swoop in to save you is great in books or movies that in the real world that is very seldom the case. 

It is our job to rescue ourselves to pick ourselves up from the gutter to put our arms out and catch ourselves when we start to fall.  There are always things and people to lean on when things start to get out of control but we should try not to rely on them being there to save us.  We need to learn to rely on ourselves.  I have learned to lean on myself and not on others and sometimes I fall and sometimes I feel like the world is going to crash down on me and break me but after the dust from the most resent drama has cleared I stand up and dust myself off and realize that I may be bruised and a little damaged but guess what?  I am still standing.  I am still here. 

In my life I had moments where I thought that even death would be easier than waiting to be rescued and I tried to end my own life.  Even after that self inflicted drama I am blessed to still be standing here I am blessed to wake up every morning and to take a deep breath and realize that I made it through.  I was one of the lucky people who failed.  So many have not been given the chances that I have.  Nothing this world or the people in it throw at you is worth ending your own life. 

This went from being a blog post about being rescued and turned into being strong and not letting the world push you to the limit and you know what standing up and realizing that you are strong enough to make it through is rescuing yourself.

Blessed Be
M

I am not a religious man but I leave you all with this.