Cupcakes and Ice Cream Cakes!!!

Man where did this weekend go?  I mean honestly I have no clue.  I don't really know what happened to Saturday I do however know that Sunday I ate some cupcakes and some candy along with a homemade ice cream cake.  Well not the whole ice cream cake but a lot of it.  I also had probably some of the best lasagna I have ever consumed.  Way more of that than I should have.  I look back on Sunday and it is no surprise that I can barely see my toes sticking out from my gut, OK that isn't true I can still see my toes but I wonder if it is only a matter of time.  Today is am starting over (yet again)  I wish that I could get a little more support at home over this but I kind of understand that people don't like to do that kind of stuff.  Everyone wants me to talk to a doctor and go the surgery route but I know that I can do this.  I have done it before I know that I am not fat because of a problem with my body I am fat because of a problem with my mind and because I don't say know.  I also am the master of making up excuses.  An all time favorite is the well it is the weekend I can start over on Monday.  That is the one I used this weekend.  Then there is also the well I lost five pounds so I can have a treat.  That treat almost always being like an entire pizza.  I want to do this and I want to do it right.  The thing is that I know what the problem is I know what I need to do to fix it though this is probably one of the first times I have actually spit it out without more excuses.  Well I just wanted to get that off my chest for right now.  We will see how things go.

Much Love
M

Damn You Philly Pretzel Factory

Man Thursdays are great days......... You know why I love Thursdays?...... PHILLY PRETZEL FACTORY!!!!! OK I love and hate them.  So the amazing company that I work for they really know how to take care of us.  Mondays they provide bagels, Wednesdays are a catered lunch I don't ever partake in that because of the inability to count the calories.  Thursdays is PPF (yummy)  I allow myself two of those and then Fridays they alternate between Pizza and Subs.  I don't eat the pizza on pizza days but I definitely enjoy a little Roast Beef Hoagie on Hoagie Fridays. 

OK I am done talking about that.  I was trying to think about something to write about from last night but I realized I did absolutely nothing last night.  I watched a couple of iHasCupquake Minecraft videos last night caught up on the Minecraft Hunger Games they played well the first and second I had already watched them both from Captain Sparklez and AntVenoms perspective but it was really cool to see it from Cupquakes perspective because you got to see the drama from the air. I also caught up on some of her old Quake N Bake videos which are freaking awesome.  If you are into nerdy edible treats they are worth the watch.  Geeky yummy snacks abound.  It lets me satisfy my food addiction without actually eating anything.  She also has a great series called Geeky Goodies that teach you how to make all kinds of geeky and wonderful decor things.  Pretty awesome.

On the diet front yesterday was a great day I stayed below my calorie limit and that is always a plus.  I need to hurry up and get paid so that I can buy some better food to eat though.  I am staying below my calorie limit but the quality of the food isn't as good as I would like but I am going to make a change to that. 

I think I slept on my wrist weird last night because I woke up and I could barely move it.  It even hurt shifting my car on the way to work.  I have it wrapped and I hope it starts to feel better soon...

In the realm of TV I am going to try to giving Breaking Bad another chance this evening I watched like the first like six episodes but I kept losing interest in the show every time that Walt would do something evil and decide he wanted to go home and bang his annoying wife it always annoyed me.  OK well I am running out of stuff to say and am probably going to start rambling soon.

Much Love
M

No More Excuses

 

I woke up this morning feeling like I was dying.  I woke up feeling like this picture.  I woke up feeling like a beached whale.  Like a huge creature that is being crushed by its own weight that is no longer being supported by the water.  I feel like with ever step my knees or my legs are going to give out underneath me or that when I am laying down my weight is going to crush my lungs and I wont be able to breath anymore.  I didn't even want to eat anything this morning but I forced myself to have some breakfast and I will make myself have some lunch so that come this evening perhaps I wont stuff myself to the point of feeling like I am going to die.

I am tired of being exhausted all the time.  I know that my horrible sleep pattern is a major factor in this.  I don't go to bed till like 1 or 2 each night and then I am stuck having to get up at 6 am every morning.  It really starts to weigh on a person when you aren't getting enough sleep to really function and the heavier I get the less restful my sleep gets every night.

I think that I really am dying I think that if I don't work things out now and stop making excuses. No more excuses.

M