I am a Manatee

I am a Manatee I am a gentle creature that in the water is graceful and relaxed but on land would be crushed under its on massive weight.  That is how I felt yesterday when I got out of the pool.  I went swimming, and I mean real swimming not just floating around in a wading pool, for the first time in years and it was great floating in the water was most most relaxed I have felt in a long time.  Also you work out a good deal of muscles just treading water or directing yourself around the pool.

However after two hours in the pool my body had gotten use to being supported by the water and when I went to climb out of the pool I was made painfully aware of how heavy I have gotten.  I have lost some weight in the last few weeks but not nearly enough.  My body groaned and creaked as my into structure worked to try to get use to carrying the weight normally again.  I vowed that I would keep moving forward and would now start working some exercise into my routine no matter what.  No more excuses this is me being punched in the face and realizing I am a manatee and I don't want to be one.


M

Not doing great, but not doing horrible.

I got on the scale this morning for the first time in like a month.  The only upside was that I weighed less than what I thought I would be.  Fortunately I weighed the same 336lbs that I did the last time I got on the scale however it made me realize that I have been eating very well the last three days and have been trying to move around more.  I don't mean exercising yet but I do mean getting up and walking to get things instead of trying to get someone else to get stuff for me.  I also make a point to get up and walk around the office more.   Actually using the further away water machine than the one closer to my desk.  I know it isn't much but at least it is something.

I have begun to get some of my eating under control.  They late night munchies are doing a real harm to it but it is hard to get myself to go to bed at a decent time I know that if I could just get myself in to bed earlier I could bypass the entire issue with the late night eating but there are forces that prevent me from getting to bed at a decent time.  I know that if I could do that things would be a lot easier but no excuses I have to work things out they way they are.  Well I thought I would have more to say but honestly don't really feel like typing anymore.

No More Excuses

 

I woke up this morning feeling like I was dying.  I woke up feeling like this picture.  I woke up feeling like a beached whale.  Like a huge creature that is being crushed by its own weight that is no longer being supported by the water.  I feel like with ever step my knees or my legs are going to give out underneath me or that when I am laying down my weight is going to crush my lungs and I wont be able to breath anymore.  I didn't even want to eat anything this morning but I forced myself to have some breakfast and I will make myself have some lunch so that come this evening perhaps I wont stuff myself to the point of feeling like I am going to die.

I am tired of being exhausted all the time.  I know that my horrible sleep pattern is a major factor in this.  I don't go to bed till like 1 or 2 each night and then I am stuck having to get up at 6 am every morning.  It really starts to weigh on a person when you aren't getting enough sleep to really function and the heavier I get the less restful my sleep gets every night.

I think that I really am dying I think that if I don't work things out now and stop making excuses. No more excuses.

M