Cupcakes and Ice Cream Cakes!!!

Man where did this weekend go?  I mean honestly I have no clue.  I don't really know what happened to Saturday I do however know that Sunday I ate some cupcakes and some candy along with a homemade ice cream cake.  Well not the whole ice cream cake but a lot of it.  I also had probably some of the best lasagna I have ever consumed.  Way more of that than I should have.  I look back on Sunday and it is no surprise that I can barely see my toes sticking out from my gut, OK that isn't true I can still see my toes but I wonder if it is only a matter of time.  Today is am starting over (yet again)  I wish that I could get a little more support at home over this but I kind of understand that people don't like to do that kind of stuff.  Everyone wants me to talk to a doctor and go the surgery route but I know that I can do this.  I have done it before I know that I am not fat because of a problem with my body I am fat because of a problem with my mind and because I don't say know.  I also am the master of making up excuses.  An all time favorite is the well it is the weekend I can start over on Monday.  That is the one I used this weekend.  Then there is also the well I lost five pounds so I can have a treat.  That treat almost always being like an entire pizza.  I want to do this and I want to do it right.  The thing is that I know what the problem is I know what I need to do to fix it though this is probably one of the first times I have actually spit it out without more excuses.  Well I just wanted to get that off my chest for right now.  We will see how things go.

Much Love
M

No More Excuses

 

I woke up this morning feeling like I was dying.  I woke up feeling like this picture.  I woke up feeling like a beached whale.  Like a huge creature that is being crushed by its own weight that is no longer being supported by the water.  I feel like with ever step my knees or my legs are going to give out underneath me or that when I am laying down my weight is going to crush my lungs and I wont be able to breath anymore.  I didn't even want to eat anything this morning but I forced myself to have some breakfast and I will make myself have some lunch so that come this evening perhaps I wont stuff myself to the point of feeling like I am going to die.

I am tired of being exhausted all the time.  I know that my horrible sleep pattern is a major factor in this.  I don't go to bed till like 1 or 2 each night and then I am stuck having to get up at 6 am every morning.  It really starts to weigh on a person when you aren't getting enough sleep to really function and the heavier I get the less restful my sleep gets every night.

I think that I really am dying I think that if I don't work things out now and stop making excuses. No more excuses.

M

Ramen For Breakfast.

Man today was one of the mornings where my routine was completely thrown out the window.  Because of that I am enjoying some nice Maruchan Instant Ramen for breakfast since I didn't have time to make myself something more breakfasty before I sprinted out the door this morning.  Good thing I actually really like this stuff or it could have ended up being the second bad start to a day in a row.

I am trying to think about what I want to do this evening.  I want to do some sort of working out but I am still having a hard time figuring out where to start.  I mean this has been my issue since I first started trying to lose weight.  I just cant seem to get myself moving.  I have a bunch of easy DVD's that I could work on but I know that I wont do that.

This day is really dragging so much there is no work coming through and I am really trying to reach to find something worth writing about here.  I am trying to go a day without caffeine but I don't know if I can do that.  It sucks already ready.  I am also having shavers remorse.  I shaved some of my beard off and I am very much regretting it.  Well I am done for the time being hopefully I will have more to type later.

M

It's Time

OK it is time.  I think I have reached the point where I have lost all the weight I am going to do with just diet alone.  Sadly it is only 10 lbs.  I was hoping it would be a little bit more so to take a little more strain of my body before I started working out again.  It doesn't look like that is going to be the case.  I will not let this deter me though.  Tonight I will start with some light upper body lifting just enough to get my heart moving and see if that kick starts some more weight loss.  After another 10 lbs comes off I will start walking some more.  That will be 20 lbs of weight off of my knees.  The knee pain was one of the big motivating factors to me wanting to do this again and having this renewed dedication.

Well hopefully I will be back later today with some more info.

Blessed Be,
M

Egg Rolls

Oh egg rolls you evil greasy delights.  Why must you taste so wonderful and why must you come in ever combo meal that is purchased.  I seem to be the only person that is addicted.  They are to me like a drug I see them sitting there when Tara brings home chinese left overs and I cant say no.  Thank goodness you only come as a single and not as a pair.

Tonight I am going to try adding some light exercise to my routine and will see where this goes.

Blessed  Be
M

Double Digits

OK well as is my usual M.O. I have been months without posting even though I had said I wanted to try to post more often.  I failed.  Well I stepped back on to the weightloss band wagon.  It mostly started because my knees were starting to ache on a daily basis because of all the weight being supported.  I also was tipping the scale at 335lbs.  That is absurd.  I couldn't keep going like that.  So I started tweeking my eating habits.  I didn't really change what I ate at first.  What I did was changed when I ate and eventually what I ate started to change as well.  Well more of how much I ate.  I started eating a little later in the day since I work till 6 pm and don't get home till almost 7 for dinner.  What I started doing is having breakfast at work at 10 AM I then have a morning snack at about 1 PM followed with my lunch at 3 PM.  What this does is it makes it so that when I finally get home I am not so hungry that I don't care about how much or what I eat.

So far I have lost 10 lbs doing this.  Already my knees are hurting less and I think that very soon I will be able to throw some walking in without hurting my knees too much.  I think I am finally starting to be successful in this.  I was going to post up some starting photos but honestly I am not ready for that yet.

I will keep you guys (whoever does read this) up to day in days to come.

Blessed Be.
M

Decided to start again

I decided to start this blogging thing again because for some reason I feel like typing up the thoughts that are poring through my head no matter how pointless they may be. 

I spent two weeks eating healthy and really feeling good about that and then I was sick all weekend and honestly I didn't eat the way that I should have and I felt like I had yet again failed at this task that I have put in front of myself.  A weaker Mark would have just said screw it and went back to just eating everything in the house and just giving up but I woke up yesterday morning and got back on track.  My stomach was back to almost feeling normal again and I picked myself up and kept moving forward.

Another win that is going into my win book is that I have been 16 weeks without a smoke.  From time to time I still have that little urge but then honestly the first time I smell someone else smoking I want to just vomit.  I think that this is one thing that I have succeeded at.  I can already breath much better and with how much I weigh the fact that I quit smoking is probably an extra great thing.  I want to start working out more often or I should say working out period.  I feel that if I could get myself doing that then things would honestly move along much more smoothly. 

Well I believe that this is an acceptable first post to this new blog and I am hoping to follow it up with short posts through the course of the week and then would like to start doing a weekly review one every Monday.

<3 Mark